Late last night I was scrolling mindlessly through my friends’ Instagram stories and one of my friends was poking fun at fashion bloggers. She was doing what I had been doing earlier in the evening – identifying where she purchased her outfit she was currently wearing. Except instead of Target or Nordstrom, she said her hat was from Goodwill and that her workout tank was from WalMart and to “Swipe Up” so she could get the commission.
I sent her a message “You’re silly!”
Although I had to admit, I felt like I was kind of a sell-out at that moment and I honestly thought about just deleting my posts and stories and closing out the entire world of social media. I know she probably wasn’t even talking about me. I know her well enough to know that she would die if she knew I was hurt by the short little innocent video.
But it got me to thinking…..
I’ll be honest. This whole blogging/promoting/influencer thing is a LOT more than I ever thought it would be. There have been many times that I have thought about chucking my computer across the room while I figure out formats and links and codes. (Think OFFICE SPACE copier scene.) To spend hours researching brands that I would actually want to promote and getting rejected and denied because I don’t have “that” large of a following. Ensuring that posts are heartfelt and sincere, yet have enough aesthetic appeal to even come up on my loved ones’ newsfeed.
I do this all while being a full-time mama of a very demanding 4 and 2 year old. I will be honest, I have to schedule my posts in advance because it’s very possible that at the “prime time” of algorithms’ hitting (who knew that was a thing?) – I may very well be up to my elbows in poop. So, while you may see a very well-thought out caption with a cute photo of me in my jean shorts at the moment….I’m probably at home wearing a tank top from Target and leggings wrestling my toddler son down to change his diaper. Or cutting up a hot dog or chicken nuggets for my daughter, careful to keep the ketchup to the side – not touching anything else – OR GOD FORBID!
It’s interesting to me – this world. The world of perceptions versus reality. I want the world to see me for the woman that I am – inside. The put-together woman who always has perfectly applied LipSense, with toned legs and a fantastic sense of style. The woman who always knows the witty and inspirational thing to say. The woman who has it all together.
Truly, though – I am every bit of a human being as you are there reading. I strive for improvement daily – as a person, as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a business owner. But I am just a girl who is trying to do the best that she can and loves shoes and her husband and her kids with all her heart. (Not in that order, of course. Although I can’t say that I wouldn’t be hightailing it out of a house fire without my Christian Louboutins).
I LOVE fashion and beauty and travel and beautiful things, but I also love when I’m lounging around my house without any make up in my favorite pj pants. I love when it’s just me and my husband having cocktails after the kids go to bed and we laugh hysterically at something that happened earlier that day. I love my real, gross, honest, totally messed up at times, beautiful LIFE.
So, if you happen to see my posts on social media and ever think “Seriously- that girl seems to have it all together” just know …..my hands probably smell like poop or baby wipes and I wouldn’t have it any other way.