Self Care, Self Love, Self – What?

There is a lot of talk about “self-care” and “self-love”.  But, what does it really mean?  Like most things in life that I’m unsure about, I googled it.

I found this definition that I felt ran true.  (from www.thelawofattraction.com)

What Is Self-Care? The Definition Of Self Care

Self-care is a broad term that encompasses just about anything you to do be good to yourself. In a nutshell, it’s about being as kind to yourself as you would be to others. It’s partly about knowing when your resources are running low, and stepping back to replenish them rather than letting them all drain away. 

I’ll be honest – as a mom it’s easy to lose yourself in the needs and care taking of your children.  Days go by before you realize you’ve showered.  Months go by without hair cuts or brow waxing.  You are still wearing your maternity jeans (no judgement – they are so comfy) and you haven’t bought a “real” bra in years.  I know how it happens.  It’s happened to me TWICE.  With each baby, I lost a piece of me.  Of course, I gained two tiny humans that adore me more than I deserve.  

I am learning that in order to be a good – hell, GREAT, mom – I have to take care of me.  That means something different for every single person.  It doesn’t have to do with an extravagant spa day or vacation or even buying a whole new wardrobe.  For me, it’s about remembering who I am as a complete person.  Not just “Mommy” or “Wife” or “Senegence distributor” or “Blogger”….but as Brandí.

This means trusting my husband and the father of my children to take the kids or keep them at home so I can have a few hours to reconnect with ME.  The girl who loves listening to 80’s pop and driving (a little too fast) with the windows and sunroof down.  The woman who enjoys styling her hair halfway then applying her make up and then finishing her hair. (Yeah – that’s my weirdness.) The diva who would rather wear heels than flats.  

I truly enjoy spending time alone.  I savor it – like a fine wine.  I love being with my friends and loved ones, but when it’s just me, myself, and I – it is time well-spent. What are some things that I do when I have alone time? 

1. Enjoy a bath with a bath bomb while scrolling through Pinterest. (cliché, but I love it!)
2. Giving myself a manicure/pedicure/face mask.
3. Organizing my closet/drawers/shoes.  It is truly satisfying to me to cleanse!
4. Having a cup of my favorite coffee alone on the porch in complete silence.
5. Going for a leisure run at a relaxed pace – on a cool morning – with my ear buds blaring my favorite playlist.
6. Having an uninterrupted conversation with my mom, sister, or best friend.
7. Suffering through an hour-long workout and knowing I kicked it’s butt!
8. Baking. (Cookies, brownies, cakes, breads….I love to bake)
9. Cooking. (I love to cook and eat. Hence why I need to work out.)
10. Bachelor in Paradise (the show – my guilty pleasure) with a vodka and La Croix cocktail.
11. Iced coffee in the afternoon from Starbucks (Grande, 3 pumps classic, light brevé.

Now for the “not-fun” self-care stuff.  Like making and KEEPING your doctors’ appointments, dental visits, eye-care professionals.  Even if you have to take the kids along!  These visits are vital to ensuring that you are taking care of yourself.  I had to take Marshall (my two year old) to the OB-GYN last week.  It was an all-time ‘mom-low’ as I laid there naked under a sheet with my toddler sitting on my chest, squeezing my boobs while my doctor and nurse examined my lady parts. But I did it because I didn’t have a sitter – and I needed to make sure I took care of myself FOR my kids and my family.

This may include seeing a therapist or a family counselor; taking an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication daily; visiting a chiropractor; diffusing essential oils; taking a multi-vitamin; drinking 100 oz of water a day; having a small piece of pie with ice-cream; going for that workout….all of these things ensures that you are living your best life and THAT, my friend, is SELF-CARE. 

In this day of constant streams of information about other peoples’ lives, we need to remember that OUR life is what is most important.  No one else can live YOUR life for you.  Make it count.  Stop putting YOU off.  I know the kids need you. I know your mate needs you.  I know your job needs you.  You know who needs you the most?  YOU.  The woman inside of you who needs you to remember her.  Don’t let her go – because she is AWESOME.